The raining season has just descended upon Singapore & since there’s nothing exciting going around my life lately, so I just had a sudden urge of talking about friendship.
What about friendship??
I had a fair share of friends over the years since I came to Singapore 11 years ago, not counting those in my home country Malaysia. Some I would call close friends, whom I constantly keep in touch with & the rest I would call acquaintances. I maintained a handful of close friendships, maybe 10 or lesser but to me the numbers doesn’t matters.
How do I actually “categorize” those whom I’ve known as close friends? Well, we don’t necessary call or see each other often, some I’ve only seen once every other months, some I’ve kept in touch every month & some I speak to every single day.
One of the reasons why I’ve kept only a handful of friends is, the difficulty in maintaining a friendship. I have many so-called “friends” who come & go like a tornado that stays only “minutes” even before I can even take a closer look at their face! It doesn’t really matter to me if they choose not to keep in touch any longer. On the brighter side, I have friendships that have lasted more than 2 decades & I’m more than happy to invest my time on them.
I have friends whom I have a history with them. We may have gone to school together, work together, stay together or whom I’ve met on my travel around the continents. I have 2 really close friends, one of them is Alicia whom I’ve met when we were working with SQ. We’ve been housemates for 4 years before we went our separate ways when I got married & moved to my own place but we still keep in touch very often until this day. She’s someone who you can call true friend. She has always been there for me for everything! And there’s Jan, whom I’ve met when we were in undergrad school. She was only 21 when I met her & being 7 years older than her has never prevent us from being the best of friends. Most of my close friends are younger than me but age has never been a barrier to a close friendship.
And there is Phin, my very best friend for 14 years!! Though she’s living in Malaysia & I in Singapore, we have never really lost touch. There was a time when she was away in Melbourne & we lost touch but we managed to find each other again! Whenever I’m home for a holiday, she never fails to give me her undivided attention & we’ll chat away into the nights!
Friends are always there for a reason. They’re there to support, lend a shoulder to cry on, laugh with you, share with you, respect you & most of all, to listen. We listen more than we talk & this is something many could not do it. In order to maintain a good friendship, we have to give & take. This is something that can’t be compromised or else friendships will not last.
I feel happy when I’m with them because they do not judge me, gossip about me, criticize me nor do they put me down. We do not compare how well-off we are, our education level or what do we do for a living. We are always happy for each other, accept one another for who we are. We do not bear grudges, anger or resentment. We learn to forgive & forget. This is what makes friendships fun & long lasting.
When friends fade away, I do not cling on to them. It is best to let go & move on with life. When they’re not happy with you or everyone, they will affect you. So, it’s best to let go of the friendship that is not worth hanging on to. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not being cold towards them, I’m just doing them a favour by letting them find someone who they can relate to.
I have to admit I can’t live without friends but I don’t need loads of them. I definitely need friends, just a handful of them, who can make friendships & life wonderful!!